Marriage

Here's a shocker...I haven't always been the best wife! Yes, it is true. :-) Josh and I just celebrated our 10th anniversary with a wonderful cruise to Alaska that I never thought we'd be able to afford but God opened up an amazing deal for us. It was unbelievably nice to get away with just Josh.

Last year at the annual homeschool convention I picked up a book called "His Help Meet" and spent several month reading through it. While I don't totally agree with everything in the book I do have to admit that I fell short in many, many areas when it came to being a good helpmeet. Yes, I could argue that I do a LOT around the house, in both mine and Josh's ministries, homeschool our children, pay the bills, tend to...........and the list could go on and on, but I have not always done it with a submissive and servant filled heart. I have to admit that I tend to "keep score" a lot of times. Not on paper and not even on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis but subcontiously and then about 2 days before I start my period I like to bring random things up.

Over the past year, but especially in the months following our anniversary I have really been trying to see my primary goal as "keeper of my home" and "helpmate". Since the book I got last year was so good I decided to make it a tradition to pick up a new "learning to be a better wife" book each year at the homeschool convention. This year I picked up Excellent Wife. It has been really good.

The thing that I struggled with for many of the first years of my marriage was being a "strong" woman yet still having a gentle spirit. I am by nature a "go-getter", a slight loud-mouth :-), stong-willed, determined, a people pleaser, and have watched my mom do whatever she set her mind to. So I thought that when the Bible said that I was supposed to have a gentle and quiet spirit I thought God must not have been speaking to me because He designed me how I am, right? He made me outgoing, loud, fun, determined, etc., right? My personality and that verse never seemed to mesh, but the older I get and the longer I've been married I am coming to a new understanding of that verse. It doesn't mean that I have to change who God made me to be, but it does mean that I am to have a servant's heart and ATTITUDE in everything I do. In my home, in my marriage, with my family, in ministry.....

I will fail. I know that for a fact, but I am trying. I am trying to be a "helper" for Josh that is suitable for him. Someone that lifts up and NEVER tears down, someone that seems the good not the evil, someone that encouages not nags, someone that always believes, always hopes, always loves. My period will come around next month and I will have the urge to vere away from my naturally happy nature for a brief 24 time stent, but I will CHOSE to not give into my flesh. I will CHOSE to be Christ-like, I will CHOSE to be content, I will CHOSE to be happy, I will CHOSE to be encouraging, I will CHOSE to be a servant, and I will do it with a happy heart because I love Jesus and that's what he's called me to do.

Thank you Lord for a wonderful husband who has chosen to serve you, love you, and raise his family for you. I am very blessed! Help me to always look for the good. You are amazing and so is the family you gave me!!!