Twelve rules for raising delinquent children

by Robby Robinson

Being with infancy to give your child everything they want. They will then grow up to believe the world owes them a living.

When they pick up bad words, laugh. This will make them think they are cute. It will also encourage them to pick up cuter phrases that will make you blow your top off later.

Never give them any religious training. Wait until they are 21 and then let them decide for themselves. Don't be surprised if they decide to be nothing.

Avoid using the word "wrong." They might develop a guilt complex. This will condition them to believe later, when they are arrested for shoplifting or stealing a car, that society is against them and they are being persecuted.

Pick up everything they leave lying around - books, shoes and clothing. Do everything for them so they will become experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.

Let them read any printed matter they can lay their hands on. Make sure the silverware and glasses are sterilized but allow their little minds to feast on garbage.

Have plenty of knockdown drag-out fights in the presence of you children. Then, after you are divorced, they won't be surprised.

Give your children all the spending money they want. Never let them earn their own. Why should they have things as tough as you had them?

Satisfy their every craving for food, drink and comfort. See to it that every sensual desire is gratified. Childhood should be fun. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.

Always take their side against neighbors, playmate, friends, teachers and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.

When they get into real trouble apologize by saying, "I never could do a thing with them."

Prepare yourself for a life of grief. You are apt to have it.

:-)